Insecurities.
It's killing me from inside.
Insecurity - a feeling of general unease or nervousness that maybe triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one's self-image or ego. [Credits to Wiki]
And really, just how many of us feels so fucking insecure everyday? Everyone wants to be perfect but yet, nobody can be perfect. Perfection is just so unnatural; it doesn't belong in the course of nature. Perfection is always desired but yet, there's no limit or boundary to being 'perfect'.
There's nothing wrong with judging, really. Everyone judges at least once in their entire lifetime, even for those who claims that they don't judge. Everybody does so. It just depends on how much you do. It's okay to judge, it's okay to comment and it's definitely okay to pick on the flaws of others but there's a limit for everything.
Looks, size, popularity etc. We're judged by all these factors by people all the time, and it usually determines how you're treated in this society which is down right judgemental. People who loves to judge and are reading this might just think that "oh, she's being a pathetic sad life over here, trying to seek for attention and gain sympathy from her readers." Yes I'm pretty much a sad life ass-hole, but no i doubt i have any readers and i suppose that there won't be people who would sympathize or pity me. Oh and yes, this is the society. Welcome to reality where everything is harsh and bullshit, a place where judging comes in different forms and in all direction. /claps/
Being put down like you're the worst shit ever, being teased like you're a emotionless puppet, being criticized till you feel as though you're the ugliest person on Earth and you're entirely worthless... It's pretty much normal, especially if you're ugly like me. Low self-esteem alert over here nonetheless. Still, it's normal for things like that to happen. If you're ugly/fat/unpopular/loner - people judge your looks, your size. If you're pretty/popular/talented/smart - people judge your behaviour, actions, words. Nobody could ever escape the fate of being judge.
Ugly - 2NE1
I think I'm ugly, and nobody wants to love me.
Just like her, I wanna be pretty.
I wanna be pretty.
Don't lie in my face, telling me I'm pretty.
I think I'm ugly, and nobody wants to love me.
Just like her, I wanna be pretty.
I wanna be pretty.
Don't lie in my face, cos I know I'm ugly.
I mean, who wouldn't be sick of all these thoughts? It's just a more torturous way of killing someone or causing someone to fall into the deepest level of hell in depression. Like hell, why are you even so fucking heartless? Just for goodness sake kill that bloody bitch if you really hate her so much. Yeah I won't mind you killing me if you hate me to the core of the Earth. Nobody is to be put through all these comments and judging. You're not even perfect and yet you dare to put someone through all these? Screw yourself please.
Sorry for my rants, even though I doubt anyone's reading this but yeah. At least i managed to pour out shit now. Lets slowly build up our self esteem, our confidence. Okay, ending post here.
Don't feed your insecurities; it'll consume you.