As time goes by

The feeling of being constantly replaced, forgotten, taken for granted, treated as a goddamn replacement...

Just why am I so replaceable? Am I really so fucking worthless? I was never important; I've never played any important roles in anything before. I'm always the one being left out, the odd one out, the extra. Just why?

They're always more important than me. I was never anyone's priority. Everything about me is worthless; easily forgotten.

I should just disappear slowly. But even when I vanish, no one will notice.

RANDOMNESS.

Hiiiiiii. Been so long since I blogged huhu ohgod feeling so guilty now T-T. But wait, nobody reads my blog so yeaaaaaa it doesn't really matter or make any differences.

Attempting to finish my one-shot for Elin rn. Hehe I'm writing fanfics but I don't post them online cos it's like crazily embarrassing especially when my English is atrocious and yea it's really a disgrace. :x


HAVE YOU GUYS CHECKED MY BLOGSHOP? IF NOT, DO CHECK IT OUT AND SHOW SUPPORT OKAY. NEGOTIATIONS ALLOWED AND THRS FREE NORMAL POSTAGE TOO SO WHY NOT HUH. MIGHT PROBABLY BE SELLING KPOP THINGS TOO LIKE PAST MAGAZINES AND POSTERS. IF YOU SPEND MORE THAN $20 YOU'LL GET A FREE POSTER LEH. ✌ so visit my BS now @ http://just-some-instocks.blogspot.com now!






Just in case If you're wondering what I'm selling/interested etc, here are some of the pics of clothes I'm selling! Prices can be lowered of course. :)




Hehehe taken during one of the family dinner! BUFFET. Omg I swear it was damn worth it cos I kept eating seafood and more seafood. Like a auntie only but really their Hokkaido crab is MOUTHWATERING ONE OKAY. ❤ Hehe pics below!







MORE PICS.


Mummy while eating halfway hehaho.



NO PLAYING W FOOD AH DADDY. >:D



Daddy and I! ^^







Okay that's all for now yep! Blogging w phone now so do bear w all the stupid small sized photos yep. Please tahan until I get a new comp! Also, enjoy your holidays & good luck for those who're having O's! ❤

xx, @FORBIDDENEDLOVE

Blogshop! ☺

Decided to do a mini adv. for my own BS that i opened just 5minutes ago hehehe. Not alot of things, but I'll try to update with more clothes and accessories, that's if there's business lah okay! Would probably be clearing some old magazines of mine cos my stash of magazines is so huge that my box is going to die. Hehe do support and check it out okay! It's just-some-instocks.blogspot.com. You can bargain but just don't be overboard w it yep? Discounts for fast deals! ^^

And and and also also also, check out my friend's (SZB to be exact hehe) Facebook shop too! Add her 'Gen Stuff-likethis' and look at her albums of clothes! They're really pretty and affordable!

Okay okay, shall do a proper blogpost soon yep. Stay tune, continue reading and PLEASE VISIT OUR BS OKAY. :)

BORING NIGHT CLASS

The fact.

If only I could be like the 3 y/o me, smiling and enjoying whole-heartedly.

You've obviously moved on. No wait. We didn't even started on anything. It was all my one sided thoughts yea. My foolishness and naiveness - believing every single of your obvious lies. I must be the stupidest person on earth. Damn I'm a total waste of the limited resources in Singapore.

Who am I to kid? You'll definitely get someone who's way way way better than me in every single aspect. Prettier, taller, cuter, smarter, skinnier, nicer, friendlier. Blame myself for being so fucking ugly fat stupid short disgusting hateful pathetic.

Screw reality. Screw you. Screw everything. Just let me continue burying myself under all these lies and hidden tears.

줄어가는 통화와 말과 만남과 우리 시간들

Lightless.

Insomnia. Insomnia. Insomnia.

If my body and health weren't so fucked up. If I was able to fall sleep without fail daily. If I didn't fell for your words. If I didn't.

I'm tired. I really am. Why do I've to put up with all these nonsense everyday and pretend that I'm alright and strong when I'm fucking breaking and hurting like a goddamn worthless fool inside? Words can kill. They can, even if the effects doesn't show on the surface. You don't have the rights. Everyone else can say anything about me, but you're the only one who doesn't have the rights.

I'm tired. There's nothing that's worth fighting for now. Things just seem so bleak. I need to have something that I'm fighting for. But, there's none.

I can't do anything because i lost my light. I can't smile, I can't find, I can't stop. Lightless.

我要快乐，我要能睡得安稳。

#SayNoToWGMBEAST

BEAST MIGHT GET SELECTED INTO WGM(We Got Married). IF YOU WERE THINKING THAT THEY WOULD BE ALLOWED TO MARRY EACH OTHER, NO. /cries heart out/ WHOEVER GETS SELECTED INTO WGM WOULD BE PAIRED W ANOTHER FEMALE ACTRESS/SINGER . FUCK B2UTIES LIFE.

More info on upcoming groups that may go WGM : www.beastportugal.com/new-120825-idol-stars-express-interest-in-appearing-on-we-got-married/

Im sorry for ranting here cos apparently twitter decided to jail me again. Sighs. Was trying to trend #SayNoToWGMBEAST with fellow b2uties on my timeline and it went on for almost an hour. B2uties on my timeline were protesting and complaining on how much they didn't want beast to appear on WGM. OF COURSE I DID ATTEMPT TO TREND TOO. And well, we did manage to trend it 7th in Singapore by ourselves!

Credits to @antsyfeels ! Nevertheless, b2uties are definitely awesome.

YES I IM STILL AGAINST BEAST ON WGM. THEY SHOULD BE ELIMINATED. THANK GOD FOR ME DOOJOON AND JUNHYUNG HAD BEEN ELIMINATED. YOSEOB AS WELL, BUT SEUNG KWANG AND WOON ARE STILL UP FOR SELECTION. :(

- Kikwang shouldn't go on WGM cos he's a pabo and he's going to get bullied. Also, he doesn't fit one of the criteria cos he uses height insoles just like seob so he should get eliminated.

- Hyunseung is TOOOOOO pretty to go on WGM. WHAT IF THE GIRL TURNS OUT TO BE A RAPIST OR BCMS JEALOUS OF SEUNG AND RAPES HIM?! D: and also not forgetting the fact that he's a 4D prince and perfectionist, not everyone can stand his personality, therefore he shouldn't go on WGM.

- Last but not least, Dongwoon. COME ON OUR WOONIE IS TOO YOUNG TO BE MARRIED YOU IDIOTS. Are you trying to taint our maknae's innocence or what! HE'S STILL YOUNG SO NO CANNOT BE MARRIED !!!

AND FOR BEAST IN GENERAL, THEY ARE MARRIED TO B2UTIES SO THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHEAT ON US.



The episode of JunHyung being in an official relationship with Goo Hara is already heartbreaking enough for us, especially for the Jesters, and now BEAST appearing for WGM? I really don't know to what extent I'll start on my bashing if that happens but im sure that it will be much worse than my bashings on hara and the thing is, I know I won't be the only one cos the other b2uties will definitely do the same. Or rather, most. Not forgetting the fact that they had just made their comeback, BEAST's already very busy with their schedules so packed that the members often only get 2-3 hours of rest. Appearing on WGM will only cause their schedule to be even more hectic, reducing their time for rest which may eventually lead to them falling sick. WGM DO YOU REALLY WANT THAT TO HAPPEN?

Done with my rants. Let's hope that I'm unjailed. Oh yea and WGM? We won't mind you pairing BEAST with BEAST cos I'm sure that would form the hottest couples in your show which would increase viewers rating = you earning more money. At the same time b2uties would be ridiculously happy too. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? DO CONSIDER MY PROPOSAL YEA COS IT'LL BE A WIN WIN SITUATION. ;D

Till later ~

BAMIYAIYA.

It’s a star twinkling, beautiful night

I hope this night lasts forever, hold my hand

The blue moonlight makes this a beautiful night

Walk across that sky with me

I’m yours – only you can make my heart race – I’m outta control

I’m yours, nobody, nobody can take your place

You drive me crazy

Left and right, you shake me up on this disco night

From top to bottom, from front and back, you flip my heart inside out

You are like cotton candy, I never get sick of you

Before this night is all over, let’s love all night

I still don’t really know love – the moment I first saw you

I felt a strong wave washing over me

Drenching my heart to the deepest corners oh oh oh oh Girl

It’s a star twinkling, beautiful night

I hope this night lasts forever, hold my hand

The blue moonlight makes this a beautiful night

Walk across that sky with me

I’m yours – only you can make my heart race – I’m outta control

I’m yours, nobody, nobody can take your place

You drive me crazy

Something good Nothing better

Just like a limitless credit card

I strengthlessly fall for you, but this feeling isn’t so bad girl

With one cue, I’ll go inside you, without you knowing

You will keep thinking of me, let’s meet in our dreams, I’m waiting for you

I still don’t really know love

Whenever I stood in front of you

I felt a strong wave washing over me

Drenching my heart to the deepest corners oh oh oh oh Girl

It’s a star twinkling, beautiful night

I hope this night lasts forever, hold my hand

The blue moonlight makes this a beautiful night

Walk across that sky with me

I’m yours – only you can make my heart race – I’m outta control

I’m yours, nobody, nobody can take your place

You drive me crazy

I just wanna love you all night long

I want to fall asleep in your arms tonight

It’s a star twinkling, beautiful night

I hope this night lasts forever, hold my hand

The blue moonlight makes this a beautiful night

Walk across that sky with me

I’m yours – only you can make my heart race – I’m outta control

I’m yours, nobody, nobody can take your place

You drive me crazy

It’s a star twinkling beautiful night
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Though it's kinda late, congratulations to my dearest BEAST for winning the Triple Crown award yep! Hohoho, and YoonDooJoon qtpie please stop breaking the kfans lightsticks or the trophies will ya? :) Definitely a post just for fun, cos i'm thinking of how to develop the feelings for chapter10 of a fanfic that i'm writing for my girls so yea. WHAT AM I DOING HERE ANW IT'S 11:50PM. 

YES I'LL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF BEAST. NEVERTHELESS, MIDNIGHT SUN IT'S REALLY A GREAT ALBUM AND THEIR LYRICS ARE JUST SO WONDERFUL, OR FUNNY IMO. COS IT'S JUST SO CUTE AND IT TOTALLY CAN BE RELATED TO. NOT THE SAD WAY BUT THE FUNNY WAY. :D 

SO BEAST ~ ! 

Insecurities

Insecurities. 

It's killing me from inside. 

Insecurity - a feeling of general unease or nervousness that maybe triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one's self-image or ego. [Credits to Wiki]

And really, just how many of us feels so fucking insecure everyday? Everyone wants to be perfect but yet, nobody can be perfect. Perfection is just so unnatural; it doesn't belong in the course of nature. Perfection is always desired but yet, there's no limit or boundary to being 'perfect'. 

There's nothing wrong with judging, really. Everyone judges at least once in their entire lifetime, even for those who claims that they don't judge. Everybody does so. It just depends on how much you do. It's okay to judge, it's okay to comment and it's definitely okay to pick on the flaws of others but there's a limit for everything. 

Looks, size, popularity etc. We're judged by all these factors by people all the time, and it usually determines how you're treated in this society which is down right judgemental. People who loves to judge and are reading this might just think that "oh, she's being a pathetic sad life over here, trying to seek for attention and gain sympathy from her readers." Yes I'm pretty much a sad life ass-hole, but no i doubt i have any readers and i suppose that there won't be people who would sympathize or pity me. Oh and yes, this is the society. Welcome to reality where everything is harsh and bullshit, a place where judging comes in different forms and in all direction. /claps/

Being put down like you're the worst shit ever, being teased like you're a emotionless puppet, being criticized till you feel as though you're the ugliest person on Earth and you're entirely worthless... It's pretty much normal, especially if you're ugly like me. Low self-esteem alert over here nonetheless. Still, it's normal for things like that to happen. If you're ugly/fat/unpopular/loner - people judge your looks, your size. If you're pretty/popular/talented/smart - people judge your behaviour, actions, words. Nobody could ever escape the fate of being judge. 

Ugly - 2NE1

I think I'm ugly, and nobody wants to love me. 

Just like her, I wanna be pretty. 

I wanna be pretty. 

Don't lie in my face, telling me I'm pretty. 

I think I'm ugly, and nobody wants to love me. 

Just like her, I wanna be pretty. 

I wanna be pretty.

Don't lie in my face, cos I know I'm ugly. 

I mean, who wouldn't be sick of all these thoughts? It's just a more torturous way of killing someone or causing someone to fall into the deepest level of hell in depression. Like hell, why are you even so fucking heartless? Just for goodness sake kill that bloody bitch if you really hate her so much. Yeah I won't mind you killing me if you hate me to the core of the Earth. Nobody is to be put through all these comments and judging. You're not even perfect and yet you dare to put someone through all these? Screw yourself please.

Sorry for my rants, even though I doubt anyone's reading this but yeah. At least i managed to pour out shit now. Lets slowly build up our self esteem, our confidence. Okay, ending post here.

Don't feed your insecurities; it'll consume you. 

ILLA ILLA

Another delayed post of mine hehe. I think i still have like 2delayed posts but yeah yknow that BelleAng is ridiculously lazy hohoho. Been feeling really lazy and down recently and damn my temper is getting worse. I really need to keep myself in check. 

Photos taken during my maternal grandfather's 70th birthday dinner. Apparently i'm in a love-hate r/s w these kind of events. Really hates it cos your annoying relatives just wouldn't stop judging and commenting on every single thing you say and do. Relatives who thinks that they are so smart by trying to out-wit/out-smart/out-talk you are just plain idiotic cos they only get trashed by a few short sentences of mine after having said a million paragraphs. IN YOUR FACE PEOPLE.

One no, two good things that i love about events like this. My older sisters and I will be taking pictures and bitching about how annoying the aunts/uncles could get while they drink legally well and as for me, i drink illegally duh. ;)

 I'm just too lazy to write a long post so yeah pictures. 

Daddy and I! mwhahaha both of us have small eyes. AND I HAVE HIS ADAMS APPLE TOO. HAH.

I love the first picture lol. My pig face. (^oo^)

My pretty second aunt who was featured in my jap post ~ 

SELCAS ARE DEFINITELY A MUST.

Not forgetting a photo taken w my grandpa along w my sisters! I'm definitely short; don't judge cos only i can judge myself - Belle Ang's ridiculous principle. 

Ending off w an outfit-of-the-day! Definitely casual. Tanktop w denim ripped shorts & SLIPPERS. :D 

I look extremely fat but yeah whatever i'm not allowed to exercise for a month now. Injured my knees and no i'm not crippled. But being unable to run or jump or do any sports that i like is making me feel like a crippled useless piece of junk. Pft i'm just gonna gain the kg that i've managed to shed off with THIS much effort during the holidays. i'm a fattybombom, say hi to me .

Bye.

Sports day; Racial Harmony day.

ANNYEONG. ~ 

A really delayed post on Sports Day & RHD. Not gonna be a super wordy post though! Hahaha, some pictures taken before the race w my beloved pudding. :)

hamster face ~ 

Moustache for ya? heh. 

HI WE HAVE SMILEY IN OUR MOUTH.  

MEDALS. Yes medals! Managed to come in at the 35th position among the sec3, 4 & 5 girls (basically the upper secs). Though I aimed for top 25th, it's better than nothing. Hahaha, take note of the spelling, THERE'S A SPELLING ERROR. Retarded school but yea ~ . Hahaha, KaiXin managed to come in 45th! Saxo-section is awesome huh. ;)

Class photo of the almightly 3/5'12 ! Can you spot me and my girls? ;)

Fringe-less me w Tymothy(?)! 

Hahaha, thanks for complementing me even though I look like crap everyday!  

Shyueny !

PUDDING PUDDING, NEOL SARANGHAE.            Funny facial expressions again hehaho. 

KaiXin! WE ARE THE AWESOME ALTO SAXOS. 

Pudding, JiaLing, me and Shyuen! Hehehe, all of us dressed in Indian costume. ;)

Pictures below were taken during Emaths lessons cos we were just too bored. Decided to slip on my coloured contacts cos somehow i was feeling inferior and insecure so yea. 

Crazy boyfriend - NATASHA.

Look at her crazily cute selca hehe. MAIN POINT; HER STUD.

BuingBuing w Jialing & Banu! ;P

Really gotta thank Banu for bringing the costume for us even though she forgot to bring the top. It was like my first time wearing an ethnic costume in secondary school so yep, that explains the crazy photos! Hahaha, alright i shall end my post here so i can upload the other photos for the upcoming post(s)! Toodles ~